VINDICATION!

At any cost! I drank a bottle and a half of Gallo Shiraz tonite. And we had two bottles. And my mom drank the other half. And now she is writhing drunkenly in her bed, calling for my help occasionally to make it to the crapper for diarreha or vomits, and she has said to me:

• I've never been this drunk before!
Twenty-four times.

• I feel so sick!
Seventeen times.

• Why do I feel so sick?
Seven times.

• I think I'll die!
Twice.

• I'm almost sixty!
Once.

• I want to be your friend, but not this bad.
Twice.

• How do you live like this?
Once.

My dad had to get his own dinner, since I "went to bed" when she got offensively drunk. And then I had to get up and make sure he got dinner and make sure the cats got their ear mite meds, and make sure I got dinner, and help her throw up and make it to the toilet, and take Immodium. Yum!
Keep tuned for the morning after! She's lined up for a doozy, and she'll be sick all day if I'm any judge. And it's not yet nine! I may still decide to get drunk, in which case she's in for a long morning of getting herself taken care of all on her own, just like I do. In fact, I think I may go get a six-pack. Mmmmm. Justification.