Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Strange but True

For the record, what was messing up the blog was my visible counter, the one on the sidebar that everyone can see, from (don't bother, they've dissapeared, which is why my counter stopped working and dicked my whole blog). The web-stat thingie has been working all along. I really, really like it and hope everyone who needs webstats will go to and sign up. Don't go for the free one either, tho that's what I've got and I love it. Pay them. Whether you need the extras or not. (Think I made up yet for calling them dickholes? Even though I meant Nerds on Site?) My favorite thing about it is that it tells which searches resulted in someone clicking on your site. There are lots of odd things that people searched and then picked my blog to click on, like "kellye cash naked" and "kellye spam" (my blog was the first hit for that one, with the bonus that the summary included the line about, "why don't you ever get spam about thorazine?") but the weirdest thing is I got 36 hits from searches on "ElmorePisgah Inc." or some variation, or one of their yarns, because of my going insane a few weeks back over how I couldn't find a single bit of internet presence for the company or their products. And now I kind of am one. Oh, by the way, the website is now here. I don't know where they were all this time. The other high referrer I get is searches for "beastpaint." Go figure. I can't imagine that there are that many people out there looking for it, but more than that, I can't imagine that if you were searching for the real thing you'd click on my little ol' blog. Bizzare.
Oh, if you're scared of what sort of diabolical information I'm collecting on you, e-mail me from the link up there and I'll give you the info you need to look at my stats. I ain't got nothin' to hide.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, the 50 megs thing didn't work out. Why? I'm a retard. Yep, that's the reason. As I was browsing through the photo contests on Fark and B3ta, bemoaning the lack of a free, easy image hosting solution, the answer came to me like a guy on the message board talking about the free, easy image hosting at Why am I so stupid?

I'm not as smart as the dumbest monkey.

I've been having a beast of a time getting my photos hosted without paying for it, as anyone who regularly reads my blog (read: me) knows, and the whole time I've had an active free account at 50 Megs. I wasn't using the 50 Megs account for this blog because Blogspot and Blogger are easier to use, and we already established that I'm not very smart. But I can easily use the many photos I already had loaded to the 50 Megs image manager and any others I choose to load there to illustrate my blog. God, I'm dumb. Thank you for your patience.

In which I abuse my (?) readers and bemoan my brother's car:

Sorry the blog was down awhile, I really didn't know. I wasn't checking the blog, but I was checking my e-mails. Sorry if the link is too hard to find, right over there above the sidebar. I checked when I realized that a drunken template "fix" had crashed the blog, but the e-mail link was still operative. Thanks for nothing, dickholes. All three of you, anyway. Yep, my high-powered web-tracker says I had three visitors this month. Oh, yeah, and the code I finally found that was dicking the whole thing up was the code that lets my high-powered web-tracker track my site. Which means I had to delete it, which means I have no more web-tracker anymore. Which means I have to go back to pretending I have the slightest idea who might be interested in this mishmash and why. Again, thanks for nothing, web-tracker dickholes. Oh, yeah, and here's a newsflash:

Non-Insured California Dickhole Totals My Brother's Audi, Nearly Kills Him, and Dissapears.

Check it out--

Cutie car, he called it 'Purl.'
Another view of the doomed 'Purl,' which my bro loaned to a hard-up 17 year old for his prom.  Note the sassy convertible top.

This is the Cali fucker's car, the guy standing next to it is Bro's co-worker who came to save him.
Weep for me! Arizona law forbids Unisured Motorist Insurance from paying me off!
I was a fun car.
I used to be so shiny and fast and new, and look at me now.

I would show you pictures of his stiff neck and numb arms and hands, but those kinds of things don't come across as well in photos. He really is hurt, tho, he went to the emergency room after an hour or two and they sent him right to physical therapy. And they won't let him drive or go to work (he's got three jobs!) for a few weeks, then he can only work a few hours a day and only do "essential" driving. And they've given him all kinds of serious "has a street value" narcotic painkillers. Which he won't share. His neck is killing him, he has to take them so he doesn't scream continuously, and he hates taking medicine, so it must be really really painful, blah, blah, blah. He's so selfish (I kid! I kid!) Yep, he's really hurt for real. I know, I thought he was just a wussy at first too, but I found out different. I could show you a hilarious picture of my cousin Terri and I throwing french fries at his face and him not being able to duck (from before we knew his injuries were so serious, I assure you) but some total drunken idiot deleted them trying to take an evidentiary picture of the greenest hotel bathroom on Earth. Really, it was soooooo seafoam green everywhere I was afraid I'd driven through a time warp into 1953.