Friday, December 24, 2004

Holy Christmas...

So, I woke up today at my regular time and started getting stuff done so I could be at work by 11 instead of noon, since we were going in to work early today, it being the eve and all. And around 10 I started getting my e-mail knocked out preperatory to putting on my uniform. When one of my co-workers calls to find out why I'm an hour late to work. And I was all, "No, it's still an hour till I have to be there." Which turned out to be wrong. Apparently someone told me over two weeks ago that we were all coming in at 9am today, but it never got written down and the schedule that my boss left for me three days ago (a week or so after the alleged "we told you" incident) had my regular noon time on it. Which wouldn't be upsetting, but that's exactly how my last incompetent boss managed to fire me from my last changing the schedule, not telling me or writing it down, and then writing me up on it.

Long story short, I was in a bad mood when I was driving to work this morning. Then it started sleeting. The evil, sadistic weathermen have been threatening us with snow for Christmas, but it never, ever snows here, so, whatever. But sleet, that's right up our alley. So I park in the sleet and start slogging over to the store to go to work, late, for the most annoying demo ever on the ickiest, coldest day of the year. And everyone is going to be harried and trying to find a turkey and pushing me down and kicking me when I offer them some delicious cheese dip. And, I may have mentioned, it was sleeting. The tiniest possible sleets, with razor-sharp needles sticking out of their little spherical evil hearts. Which contain "Kellye-eye-finder" type radar. Did I mention I was in a bad mood?

Then all the precious little teenagers that work at the store start wandering by and going, "OMG, it's snowing! Go look, it's snowing! Yayy!" and I spent about an hour replying, "Have you ever seen snow? I have. Is it still doing what it was doing at ten, with the little razor-radar balls hitting the ground at Mach 2 and bouncing higher than your head? That's not snow. You're an idiot. Have yourself sterilized and then put out your eyes. Merry Christmas!" Then I fell for it and went outside to look. Razor-lazer-radar sleet. Then I did as just above for another hour, then I went outside to look again. Total lack of any precipitation. Then an actual adult, respected and valued co-worker came over and said, "Go look outside, it's really snowing!" and she was really excited, so after making her say it really was really really snowing actual real snow, about six times, I went to look, and it really was.

Drifty, flurry-y real snow, really snowing down on the ground. And it started to stick. And it started to get colder. And now my whole town is gently slumbering under about three inches of snow and I'm starting to worry that Dennis Quaid fell through a glass roof and we're all going to freeze to death in the library, if the wolves don't get us first. Oh, wait, that's The Day After Tomorrow. Yeah, probably in the morning the sun will come out and the snow will melt and by afternoon I'll be wearing shorts and a tank top. Please?

Those shiny flying things reacting to the flash are 'snowflakes.'

I still live in South Texas, right?

Just in case we get snowed in, please send cookies, beer and pornography.  And cigarettes.  And candy.