Sunday, March 12, 2006
I changed the headline or tagline or whatever it is, so I had to put the old one somewhere for posterity. Since I'll probably go back to it in a week or two, and whatever. I'm gardening and playing croquet today. Because I plan to have a croquet game set up for my birthday, and I need to practice. Because if I lose at croqet on my birthday, with ready acess to a keg, a pinata full of liquor (decided drugs was too dangerous) wooden mallets and sharpened wooden stakes, something probably pretty bad is going to happen. You know I'm too pretty to go to prison. Rambling, rambling, babbling, nothing much to say. I keep thinking of great blog posts when I'm doing something where I really can't drop everything and post them, then I forget them before I get to a computer. You know, driving my car, riding my bike, having the spins in my yard, whatever. I need to start toting around a physical journal to jot some of this shit in. Either that, or figure out how to blog from my phone or whatever crazy, mixed-up, computers-taking-over-the-world, I Robot "convenience" blogging they have set up now. Blog from your fillings! If people who aren't poor even have fillings anymore. Have you ever thought about joining the military (obviously, in peacetime, not now) just to get your teeth fixed? This is a good question to ask people at parties to find out if they're the same "class" as you. Also, I just want to say, who the fuck is too fancy to drink cheap beer? I can't tell you the number of times I've been totally ridiculed in the last year for drinking PBR. I'm talking schoolyard-style hazing. What the fuck is up with that?!? Did everybody else in the world just get a raise and start drinking some $13 a six-pack shit from Europe? Or do people just enjoy making fun of me? Fuck people who like making fun of me, I can get drunk for $6.04, including tax. And then I can stab them.
Posted by -kel at 3:19 PM
Friday, March 03, 2006
I'm a vicious bitch. Also, my birthday is coming up. I'll message all you bitches and let you know when the party is. I'm having a pinata. I told my mom I was having a pinata and she said, "Be careful, you know how all those people on America's Home Videos are always getting the shit beat out of them by a four-year-old with a streamer-covered stick." And I was all, "Shit, mom, don't worry. My party's going to be all adults. Plus we'll all do compulsory jello shots for about half an hour, then everybody gets a stick and I announce that the pinata is full of little bags of kind bud. Yayy! Happy Birthday!"
Posted by -kel at 9:26 PM