- I go back to bed (35% probable).
- I'm grumpy and pointedly nasty all day (43% probable).
- I'm impossibly and annoyingly cheerful and disjointed all day (22% probable).
Today was the cheerful option, and my mom and I were having a nice conversation while she got ready to go to work at the library. We were talking about nothing much, I showed her some funny stuff online, we were talking about what to do later in the day. Then she thought she heard one of the cats yowling to get out of somewhere, and started looking for it. I didn't hear anything, and she found both of the cats placidly sleeping, so no biggie. But she kept looking for what it was. "What could it be?" she asked me a few times. I had already told her I hadn't heard it, so about the 4th time she asked me I said, "I CAN'T HEAR IT," as though she were slow, and she said, (exact quote) "God, go back to bed. You wake up as such a bitch all the time. Why do you have to be so bitchy?" Which is, you should know, something she says to me on a weekly basis if not more often. Usually, there is some basis for it, as I am normally pretty grouchy lately. But I do not say things like this to her (about her, yeah, to her, no) and it always strikes me as such emotional terrorism that I cry, which I hate to do. It's just so unfair of her, such out-and-out nuclear warfare. Am I crazy? I know this whole situation isn't easy for her either, and I don't come out and say in so many words, "Hey, I'm fighting suicidal depression here, cut me some slack," and she can't read my mind, but sheesh. So that's what happened this morning. Lucklily, my friend Jess, when I was crying about this at her house two weeks ago, threatened to kill her next time she did it, so that's all sorted out then.