Supercuts Lady: What do you want to do with it today?
Me: What?
SL: Your hair? What do you want?
Me: Well, in three months I want a perfect, glossy swing bob. Today, I just want to not go home and hack it off at the scalp with a pair of kitchen shears.
SL: Oh. Okay.
Me: The last time I felt this way I took care of it myself.
SL: Oh. I can see that.
Me: Stop me before I do it again!
SL: Okay, okay! (snip, snip, snip) This should be better. (snip, snip, snip)
(as to a small, developmentally challenged child) You can flip it out or tuck it behind your ears, okay?
(As to a desperate woman standing on a bridge) And I'm not touching the front--you're almost there! Don't give up!
Me: You have to get rid of the proto-mullet!!! Please, you have to help me!
SL: I'm doing it! Right now. (SNIP, SNIP, SNIP)
(hands mirror, turns chair) How's that?
Me: (big sigh) Oh, I feel so much better all ready! Thank you! Thank you!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The following things are right out.
I spend most of several days a week, as I've previously mentioned, standing around a grocery store trying to influence the shoppers to experience and buy product. Precisely, I work in several grocery stores all around town, which gives me a good opportunity to see how people dress, at least just for the grocery store. Now, no one will ever accuse me of being a fashion plate, and I'm certainly only going to be deputized to the Fashion Police in the direst of emergencies...something along the lines of Fashion Martial Law. However. I've been noticing a few things that are really trendy right now, and with the students coming back into town the trends are getting bigger and more hamfisted than ever. Hence, I hereby declare the following things absolutely, without fail, mandatorily OUT, right out, and begone from my sight:
1. Gold and silver purses and shoes. Whoever decided that these items would be in this winter is obviously dangerously psychotic. Metallic purses and shoes are tacky, tacky, tacky. Also, they're kind of tacky. There are exactly two kinds of people who can get away with it, so if you're not a crack-whore or an aging, alcoholic drag queen all hopped up on goofballs, please take your trendy new purse and shoes over to Goodwill immediately. Especially you girls carrying the huge spangled shoulder bags that look like you could hide a baby in them. Wearers of metallic shoes with kitten heels (see below) and carrying one of these bags will be shot on sight.
2. There are earrings out there which are not appropriate to be worn with just any outfit. Before you ever leave the house, you must look into a good full-length mirror. Look closely. If the tiny, delicate crystals of your chandelier earrings brush the shoulders of your "Turkey Trot" t-shirt, you must take them off. If the color of said tiny, delicate crystals clashes with your wind shorts, you must remove all jewelry and go back to bed. If said color clashes in a different way with your Tau Delt insignia flip-flops you must beat yourself 'round the head and shoulders with the heaviest pan you can find. Just because you can wear discreet pearls, modest gold hoops, or un-presupposing diamond chips in your ears with any outfit and on any occasion does not mean that the same holds true for all earrings, and especially not for earrings which you bought because of how much they look like the ones so-and-so wore to the Oscars. Idiot.
3. Denim for anything but jeans was never really cool, and it never will be. Those really expensive skirts you're all wearing that are especially frayed and ragged around the horrible bell hemline already when you buy them? They're awful. The cut is awful, the denim color is awful, the pre-frayed him is awful. Stop wearing them. Especially stop wearing them with t-shirts and chandelier earrings and horrible giant spangled gold bags and kitten heels. I'm going to kill one of you eventually if you don't.
4. Kitten heels are stupid. I really love shoes and when I first started to see this style back in stores I was elated and immediately started shopping for the perfect pair. Then I remembered (after trying on approximately 48,000,009 pairs) that kitten heels are dumb looking. The only place they belong is on those silly boudoir shoes with the pink boa around the toe, and the only place those shoes belong is in romantic-comedy movies made before 1972.
Just in case you're reading this and thinking, "She's wrong. I know what she means, but I can carry it off," You're wrong. The only times it's in good taste to do something in such bad taste: if it's really cute; if it's ironic; if it's funny. None of these trends are even deep enough for funny.
1. Gold and silver purses and shoes. Whoever decided that these items would be in this winter is obviously dangerously psychotic. Metallic purses and shoes are tacky, tacky, tacky. Also, they're kind of tacky. There are exactly two kinds of people who can get away with it, so if you're not a crack-whore or an aging, alcoholic drag queen all hopped up on goofballs, please take your trendy new purse and shoes over to Goodwill immediately. Especially you girls carrying the huge spangled shoulder bags that look like you could hide a baby in them. Wearers of metallic shoes with kitten heels (see below) and carrying one of these bags will be shot on sight.
2. There are earrings out there which are not appropriate to be worn with just any outfit. Before you ever leave the house, you must look into a good full-length mirror. Look closely. If the tiny, delicate crystals of your chandelier earrings brush the shoulders of your "Turkey Trot" t-shirt, you must take them off. If the color of said tiny, delicate crystals clashes with your wind shorts, you must remove all jewelry and go back to bed. If said color clashes in a different way with your Tau Delt insignia flip-flops you must beat yourself 'round the head and shoulders with the heaviest pan you can find. Just because you can wear discreet pearls, modest gold hoops, or un-presupposing diamond chips in your ears with any outfit and on any occasion does not mean that the same holds true for all earrings, and especially not for earrings which you bought because of how much they look like the ones so-and-so wore to the Oscars. Idiot.
3. Denim for anything but jeans was never really cool, and it never will be. Those really expensive skirts you're all wearing that are especially frayed and ragged around the horrible bell hemline already when you buy them? They're awful. The cut is awful, the denim color is awful, the pre-frayed him is awful. Stop wearing them. Especially stop wearing them with t-shirts and chandelier earrings and horrible giant spangled gold bags and kitten heels. I'm going to kill one of you eventually if you don't.
4. Kitten heels are stupid. I really love shoes and when I first started to see this style back in stores I was elated and immediately started shopping for the perfect pair. Then I remembered (after trying on approximately 48,000,009 pairs) that kitten heels are dumb looking. The only place they belong is on those silly boudoir shoes with the pink boa around the toe, and the only place those shoes belong is in romantic-comedy movies made before 1972.
Just in case you're reading this and thinking, "She's wrong. I know what she means, but I can carry it off," You're wrong. The only times it's in good taste to do something in such bad taste: if it's really cute; if it's ironic; if it's funny. None of these trends are even deep enough for funny.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Defining moment
I never really grokked "eurotrash" until today. Sure, I had a vague, use-it-in-a-sentence kind of idea. I'd heard it used in context enough times to know I could use it semi-properly, especially if I happened to be drunk, talking to drunks.
Then I saw her. The shoes, first. High-couture, gold brocade with thousands of beads. Pointy-toed like some Italian hallucination of the Arabian Nights. Some sort of trendy skirt and a thick, heavy silk-satin halter top, more beads all over it, the color of weird foreign change just before you over-tip. Her hair was unbelievable--brushed completely forward over her shoulders and curled into perfect ringlets the size of bratwurst. Bigger. Her makeup looked like she'd recently been "done" somewhere that the lipstick cost more than I make a week. I don't even make enough to start talking about her handbag.
And here she was, stalking through the grocery store, screaming at the top of her lungs. A chagrined and possibly frightened young man wearing jeans and a t-shirt followed her, pushing a grocery cart with his head down and his mouth shut. She was screaming at him. In Russian. About limes. It was the only English word that I heard come out of her mouth, and it issued forth in a climbing, growling shriek like the cry of a cornered panther. Then would start again the incomprehensible muttering, the aggrieved whining, the yelling, the screaming, then, "LlllliiiiiiIIIIMMMES!!!!" They were heading towards the produce department, but she would occasionally leave him at the end of an aisle as she stalked down it, still orating, to grab some item and hurl it in the cart. He flinched every time. Once, when she was out of sight (but not sound) I caught his eye and considered offering to call for help, but she scared me too much.
Why is my life so boring? I hardly ever scream at anyone, much less about limes. And never in Russian.
Then I saw her. The shoes, first. High-couture, gold brocade with thousands of beads. Pointy-toed like some Italian hallucination of the Arabian Nights. Some sort of trendy skirt and a thick, heavy silk-satin halter top, more beads all over it, the color of weird foreign change just before you over-tip. Her hair was unbelievable--brushed completely forward over her shoulders and curled into perfect ringlets the size of bratwurst. Bigger. Her makeup looked like she'd recently been "done" somewhere that the lipstick cost more than I make a week. I don't even make enough to start talking about her handbag.
And here she was, stalking through the grocery store, screaming at the top of her lungs. A chagrined and possibly frightened young man wearing jeans and a t-shirt followed her, pushing a grocery cart with his head down and his mouth shut. She was screaming at him. In Russian. About limes. It was the only English word that I heard come out of her mouth, and it issued forth in a climbing, growling shriek like the cry of a cornered panther. Then would start again the incomprehensible muttering, the aggrieved whining, the yelling, the screaming, then, "LlllliiiiiiIIIIMMMES!!!!" They were heading towards the produce department, but she would occasionally leave him at the end of an aisle as she stalked down it, still orating, to grab some item and hurl it in the cart. He flinched every time. Once, when she was out of sight (but not sound) I caught his eye and considered offering to call for help, but she scared me too much.
Why is my life so boring? I hardly ever scream at anyone, much less about limes. And never in Russian.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Oh, p.s.
My computer crashed about two days after I wrote
the triumphant "my computer is set up and we're
getting wireless!" post, so it's not ALL my fault.
the triumphant "my computer is set up and we're
getting wireless!" post, so it's not ALL my fault.
Liar, liar...
Okay, okay, my pants are duly on fire. I've been promising to post and promising to post and breaking my promises every day. I'm sure no one is reading anymore, but in case you are, I absoloutely swear to stop promising to post. I'll just post whenever I get a bug up my ass and knock out the lying promises part.
So, my wonderful next raise at work is never going to happen (speaking of people who break promises) and the five days a week I was also (liar) promised fell through after about a month, so I'm working less now than I was before I got promised the fantastic raise and full time work. Yayy! (Which is what my boss always says when she's about to tell me that I'm "off for the weekend! Yayy!") So I'm looking for a new job. I haven't told her yet, but I'm going to. I'd like to keep working for her on the weekends only, but if I get a full-time, really really full-time job, she's going to be out of luck. So that's that.
Also, I've been spending lots and lots of time with my new friend Jasper (see previous posts). I've known him for years, on and off, since my roomate met him and his boyfriend...I have no idea how they met, actually. I suck at "Austin geaneology" and I could hardly tell you how I met Jessica, anymore. But I've known him a long time, and we never really hung out at all until I moved in here, right down the street from where he was living at the time. Where he promptly moved out of and ended up spending a lot of time at our house, until he found a new permament place to live. I don't really know how much of his life he wants to see splattered all over my blog, so maybe I should think about going back and changing his name in all the posts. Hmmmmmm.
Anyway, the roomate, who was really his real friend and I was just an acquaintance, ended up being busy most of the time and not being able to hang out with him, and we just started spending more and more time together until we basically started making everyone, including ourselves, sick with it. He's super-fun, and more than that, he helped me remember that I'm super-fun, too. Which is awesome, and he has a great new place, and we're both now able to utter up to ten minutes of conversation without mentioning each others' name even once; there's even whole days where we don't talk on the phone or see each other personally. His new downstairs neighbors (who I've never met, but who he talks to often) have even been persuaded that I'm really not his girlfriend. I may even eventually make a blog entry where I don't mention him.
Anyway, here's to new friends, and old friends, and new jobs, and being able to pay the bills. Yayy!
So, my wonderful next raise at work is never going to happen (speaking of people who break promises) and the five days a week I was also (liar) promised fell through after about a month, so I'm working less now than I was before I got promised the fantastic raise and full time work. Yayy! (Which is what my boss always says when she's about to tell me that I'm "off for the weekend! Yayy!") So I'm looking for a new job. I haven't told her yet, but I'm going to. I'd like to keep working for her on the weekends only, but if I get a full-time, really really full-time job, she's going to be out of luck. So that's that.
Also, I've been spending lots and lots of time with my new friend Jasper (see previous posts). I've known him for years, on and off, since my roomate met him and his boyfriend...I have no idea how they met, actually. I suck at "Austin geaneology" and I could hardly tell you how I met Jessica, anymore. But I've known him a long time, and we never really hung out at all until I moved in here, right down the street from where he was living at the time. Where he promptly moved out of and ended up spending a lot of time at our house, until he found a new permament place to live. I don't really know how much of his life he wants to see splattered all over my blog, so maybe I should think about going back and changing his name in all the posts. Hmmmmmm.
Anyway, the roomate, who was really his real friend and I was just an acquaintance, ended up being busy most of the time and not being able to hang out with him, and we just started spending more and more time together until we basically started making everyone, including ourselves, sick with it. He's super-fun, and more than that, he helped me remember that I'm super-fun, too. Which is awesome, and he has a great new place, and we're both now able to utter up to ten minutes of conversation without mentioning each others' name even once; there's even whole days where we don't talk on the phone or see each other personally. His new downstairs neighbors (who I've never met, but who he talks to often) have even been persuaded that I'm really not his girlfriend. I may even eventually make a blog entry where I don't mention him.
Anyway, here's to new friends, and old friends, and new jobs, and being able to pay the bills. Yayy!
Sunday, May 29, 2005
New Post
I'm not very imaginitive tonight. I've been drinking beer and talking to my roomate (Jessica) and my neighbor (Jasper) and messing with the dog (Bella) and basically doing the same thing I've been doing since I moved in here at the end of this last January. The only thing is that I've gotten a cost-of-living raise for moving to Austin and a couple of merit raises for doing my job right (practically the first time since I started working outside my family at 18) and am maybe going to get a raise if I start being a "team leader" next week. Plus, I'm working about 30 hours a week now. Yayy! Money rocks!
The down side is that my job is still basically the same, although I went from working in one store in my hometown to working in whatever store I could get hours in here in Austin, to working one tiny store in my old (bad vibe) neighborhood where it's hard to sell anything because everyone who comes in is either 1)Extremely old AND senile AND deaf or 2)A total hippie and only eats granola and yoghurt or 3)Just doesn't want a sample for some reason. This is trying to me because, as some of you may remember, my job consists of standing around a grocery store and handing out samples of things I hope the customers will want to buy, then giving them a (very) short sales pitch about why they should. It's really a fun job, unless some really senile and deaf old lady (or a drunk vagrant) needs you to run over the salient parts of the sales pitch about seven times. Or some hippie mom with three kids needs to berate you for the use of Red Coloring #7 in the product you nearly gave her kids, for 1/2 an hour. Then there are the people who just don't want a sample. I think I'm wearing them down, tho. They're very polite ("No, thank you, ma'am.") but they just don't want to try it. My first demo at my new store was taquitos and popsicles, and I just did queso dip, so it doesn't look good. I mean, who turns down a popsicle or some queso, free? But maybe they just need to get used to me. Since I'll be working 5 days a week in their grocery store, they will. There's already a couple of creepy old people (one with a truly scary wig, which I will talk more about in a later post) who are so used to me they talk to me for hours while I pretend they're invisible.
So anyway, everything is pretty ok. I love my house, I love Jess and Bella, I love talking to Jasper every day or so and seeing or talking to Kathey and Mary every day and doing my job well, so I'm happy. Yayyy! I'll see you tomorrow.
The down side is that my job is still basically the same, although I went from working in one store in my hometown to working in whatever store I could get hours in here in Austin, to working one tiny store in my old (bad vibe) neighborhood where it's hard to sell anything because everyone who comes in is either 1)Extremely old AND senile AND deaf or 2)A total hippie and only eats granola and yoghurt or 3)Just doesn't want a sample for some reason. This is trying to me because, as some of you may remember, my job consists of standing around a grocery store and handing out samples of things I hope the customers will want to buy, then giving them a (very) short sales pitch about why they should. It's really a fun job, unless some really senile and deaf old lady (or a drunk vagrant) needs you to run over the salient parts of the sales pitch about seven times. Or some hippie mom with three kids needs to berate you for the use of Red Coloring #7 in the product you nearly gave her kids, for 1/2 an hour. Then there are the people who just don't want a sample. I think I'm wearing them down, tho. They're very polite ("No, thank you, ma'am.") but they just don't want to try it. My first demo at my new store was taquitos and popsicles, and I just did queso dip, so it doesn't look good. I mean, who turns down a popsicle or some queso, free? But maybe they just need to get used to me. Since I'll be working 5 days a week in their grocery store, they will. There's already a couple of creepy old people (one with a truly scary wig, which I will talk more about in a later post) who are so used to me they talk to me for hours while I pretend they're invisible.
So anyway, everything is pretty ok. I love my house, I love Jess and Bella, I love talking to Jasper every day or so and seeing or talking to Kathey and Mary every day and doing my job well, so I'm happy. Yayyy! I'll see you tomorrow.
Monday, May 23, 2005
I'm baaaaaaaa-accckkk!
I finally got my computer set up and started making enough money that we could splurge and get high-speed...Yayy! So here I am, actually making a post. My friend Jasper predicted that now that I have a job and a semi-social life (mostly consisting of sitting on my porch with Jasper, smoking and being jaded) and am occasionally leaving the house for totally non-work-related reasons, that I would not regain interest in the blog or need to be interesting and funny for it, since I know actual humans now with which to converse. Which is ridiculous, because the blog always listens raptly and never interrups me. Or thinks I'm silly, or makes a face when I mention I have a blog. Jasper. No, he's really nice and funny and cool and interesting, none of that is true except the 'oh, I'm kindof embarrased for you' face he made upon hearing about the blog.
Anyway, I'm working more and still have no money for various reasons (most of them sold at Pronto), I'm guardedly optimistic about the future and totally done writing for right now, but I'll see you later.
Anyway, I'm working more and still have no money for various reasons (most of them sold at Pronto), I'm guardedly optimistic about the future and totally done writing for right now, but I'll see you later.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
I'm so bad about updating...
partially due to the fact that this weekend is when I'm bringing my computer up, meaning I haven't had private access to one all this time. As kind and wonderful as my roomate is, it's hard to spend three hours writing a blog entry just before dawn whilst drunk when you're using the computer one foot from her bed. I know, I know, I can use it while she's at work, I've written lots of entries in the middle of the day, but I just haven't felt like it.
So maybe I'll be writing a lot more in the next little bit, but I've somehow gotten another job (beats me--the only time I ever get a job is if I go into the interview with a "who gives a rip? not mee-ee!" attitude) so maybe I won't. In any case, if there are any incredibly cute people out there who read my blog and are knowledgeable and (I may have mentioned, stone cold foxes) and want to teach me how to use a computer effectively and without using the word "thingy" just send me an e-mail and I'll tell you where to bring the beer. I mean, body. I mean, knowledge.
Actually, all ridiculously overreaching joking aside, I've been in a lull lately (the last three years) where I really don't care if I experience bodily closeness with another human being in my entire life. In fact, I recently had to admonish someone for standing in my personal space, and it came out like a date-rape accusation. I guess that's not totally normal. I have these really incredible dreams about cuddling and such, but the idea of actually laying hand on a fellow person either platonically or erotically, kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Somebody make a comment and tell me that's okay, it's normal and everyone feels this way. Never mind. I'll write more tonight after I get drunk. Which I can't, because I'm on antibiotics (huge infection in the left tonsil), so I'll write more tonight after I get tired but can't sleep and am all cranky.
So maybe I'll be writing a lot more in the next little bit, but I've somehow gotten another job (beats me--the only time I ever get a job is if I go into the interview with a "who gives a rip? not mee-ee!" attitude) so maybe I won't. In any case, if there are any incredibly cute people out there who read my blog and are knowledgeable and (I may have mentioned, stone cold foxes) and want to teach me how to use a computer effectively and without using the word "thingy" just send me an e-mail and I'll tell you where to bring the beer. I mean, body. I mean, knowledge.
Actually, all ridiculously overreaching joking aside, I've been in a lull lately (the last three years) where I really don't care if I experience bodily closeness with another human being in my entire life. In fact, I recently had to admonish someone for standing in my personal space, and it came out like a date-rape accusation. I guess that's not totally normal. I have these really incredible dreams about cuddling and such, but the idea of actually laying hand on a fellow person either platonically or erotically, kind of makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Somebody make a comment and tell me that's okay, it's normal and everyone feels this way. Never mind. I'll write more tonight after I get drunk. Which I can't, because I'm on antibiotics (huge infection in the left tonsil), so I'll write more tonight after I get tired but can't sleep and am all cranky.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Okay, okay, so I'm not really writing posts....
but you really couldn't see any new ones for a couple days. It was kind of annoying and then everything got insane for a few days, what with the drinking, and the excessive sleeping, and the watching movies...
I know, I'm a total loser. I'm doing the same thing here as I was doing in my parents' house, to wit: not working enough, spending too much money and drinking too much, and never leaving the house unless forced. I swear by all that's holy I'm going to start going outdoors recreationally if it ever gets warm again (at this point I doubt in a depressive manner that it ever will). Until then, I'm going to lie on the couch and watch movies from my favorite genre (Lovable professional killers. You laugh, you think I'm funny, go to the IMDB and search "Plots" for "professional killer." that's just the tip of the iceberg.) and weep about my total lack of charisma or ability to do anything right. Maybe I'll get back into the swing of writing regularly in the Spring.
Whatever, I'm a puling dope, sorry, I'll be better soon and write more, I'll even forbear making the gloomy comment that it probably won't matter then because I've already lost the interest of whatever sad, lonely people could have had an interest in my dithers and rants, so I'll be back to no one reading me again. No disrespect to my noble readers, I'm just illustrating how gloomy the comment could have been if I'd not forborne making it. Or something. I'll stop now, and start again when I've stopped chanelling Eeyore.
I know, I'm a total loser. I'm doing the same thing here as I was doing in my parents' house, to wit: not working enough, spending too much money and drinking too much, and never leaving the house unless forced. I swear by all that's holy I'm going to start going outdoors recreationally if it ever gets warm again (at this point I doubt in a depressive manner that it ever will). Until then, I'm going to lie on the couch and watch movies from my favorite genre (Lovable professional killers. You laugh, you think I'm funny, go to the IMDB and search "Plots" for "professional killer." that's just the tip of the iceberg.) and weep about my total lack of charisma or ability to do anything right. Maybe I'll get back into the swing of writing regularly in the Spring.
Whatever, I'm a puling dope, sorry, I'll be better soon and write more, I'll even forbear making the gloomy comment that it probably won't matter then because I've already lost the interest of whatever sad, lonely people could have had an interest in my dithers and rants, so I'll be back to no one reading me again. No disrespect to my noble readers, I'm just illustrating how gloomy the comment could have been if I'd not forborne making it. Or something. I'll stop now, and start again when I've stopped chanelling Eeyore.
Friday, February 04, 2005
I swear I'm writing. You just can't see the posts.
I wrote a semi-long post day before yesterday, and it won't show up. I can see it when I'm editing inside Blogger but when I look at the blog from outside it 's nowhere to be found. This makes me tired and bored. I wish I knew more about computers and code so I wouldn't be so helpless. I'm going to go outside and play with the dog. Maybe that will fix it. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Long time, no blog.
I know I haven't written in a long time, and I feel bad about it. I've been moving back to Austin and mostly when I get near a computer I've just driven two hours and schlepped a good amount of my worldly goods either into or out of a house, so I usually just want to sleep. But now I've got the greater balance of my stuff out of my folks' house and arranged here, and I'm really happy and ready to write. I've even had some good posts in my head and haven't had the energy to put them on till now.
One thing I wanted to talk about before this is how incredibly moving I still find the fact that anyone reads me at all (you all know who you are). I'll lay off posting for a few weeks and get a few e-mails about it, and that's really incredible to me, but even more so is the occasional offhand remark. The first time I brought a load of stuff up, someone came by the house to visit for a minute, and we were talking about all the bizarre weather lately, and I said, "It snowed a foot at my parents' house!" and she said, "I know, that was insane. I liked the pictures you put up." or something similarly familiar and complimentary, and I kind of almost cried a little. So you guys rock. Every time you read this miasma of whatever, every time you think about it or e-mail or mention it or put on a comment (everyone's invited!) I really feel blessed to have such great friends.
The other thing is that I love my new house. I feel all conflicted about leaving my parents (mom was putting on the "My baby is leaving me, and I'll never have another!" show nearly hourly until I moved out the last of my clothes, and now they're talking about moving out of state next month.)...again, and I'm scared about getting back into the swing of Austin and having enough money and being good enough, but I overall love being here and the house is great, and my housemates are great, and I love being back. Yayy! That's all for right now. Scroll down a little farther and look at the snow pictures again. Hey, and thanks.
One thing I wanted to talk about before this is how incredibly moving I still find the fact that anyone reads me at all (you all know who you are). I'll lay off posting for a few weeks and get a few e-mails about it, and that's really incredible to me, but even more so is the occasional offhand remark. The first time I brought a load of stuff up, someone came by the house to visit for a minute, and we were talking about all the bizarre weather lately, and I said, "It snowed a foot at my parents' house!" and she said, "I know, that was insane. I liked the pictures you put up." or something similarly familiar and complimentary, and I kind of almost cried a little. So you guys rock. Every time you read this miasma of whatever, every time you think about it or e-mail or mention it or put on a comment (everyone's invited!) I really feel blessed to have such great friends.
The other thing is that I love my new house. I feel all conflicted about leaving my parents (mom was putting on the "My baby is leaving me, and I'll never have another!" show nearly hourly until I moved out the last of my clothes, and now they're talking about moving out of state next month.)...again, and I'm scared about getting back into the swing of Austin and having enough money and being good enough, but I overall love being here and the house is great, and my housemates are great, and I love being back. Yayy! That's all for right now. Scroll down a little farther and look at the snow pictures again. Hey, and thanks.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Friday, December 24, 2004
Holy Christmas...
So, I woke up today at my regular time and started getting stuff done so I could be at work by 11 instead of noon, since we were going in to work early today, it being the eve and all. And around 10 I started getting my e-mail knocked out preperatory to putting on my uniform. When one of my co-workers calls to find out why I'm an hour late to work. And I was all, "No, it's still an hour till I have to be there." Which turned out to be wrong. Apparently someone told me over two weeks ago that we were all coming in at 9am today, but it never got written down and the schedule that my boss left for me three days ago (a week or so after the alleged "we told you" incident) had my regular noon time on it. Which wouldn't be upsetting, but that's exactly how my last incompetent boss managed to fire me from my last job...by changing the schedule, not telling me or writing it down, and then writing me up on it.
Long story short, I was in a bad mood when I was driving to work this morning. Then it started sleeting. The evil, sadistic weathermen have been threatening us with snow for Christmas, but it never, ever snows here, so, whatever. But sleet, that's right up our alley. So I park in the sleet and start slogging over to the store to go to work, late, for the most annoying demo ever on the ickiest, coldest day of the year. And everyone is going to be harried and trying to find a turkey and pushing me down and kicking me when I offer them some delicious cheese dip. And, I may have mentioned, it was sleeting. The tiniest possible sleets, with razor-sharp needles sticking out of their little spherical evil hearts. Which contain "Kellye-eye-finder" type radar. Did I mention I was in a bad mood?
Then all the precious little teenagers that work at the store start wandering by and going, "OMG, it's snowing! Go look, it's snowing! Yayy!" and I spent about an hour replying, "Have you ever seen snow? I have. Is it still doing what it was doing at ten, with the little razor-radar balls hitting the ground at Mach 2 and bouncing higher than your head? That's not snow. You're an idiot. Have yourself sterilized and then put out your eyes. Merry Christmas!" Then I fell for it and went outside to look. Razor-lazer-radar sleet. Then I did as just above for another hour, then I went outside to look again. Total lack of any precipitation. Then an actual adult, respected and valued co-worker came over and said, "Go look outside, it's really snowing!" and she was really excited, so after making her say it really was really really snowing actual real snow, about six times, I went to look, and it really was.
Drifty, flurry-y real snow, really snowing down on the ground. And it started to stick. And it started to get colder. And now my whole town is gently slumbering under about three inches of snow and I'm starting to worry that Dennis Quaid fell through a glass roof and we're all going to freeze to death in the library, if the wolves don't get us first. Oh, wait, that's The Day After Tomorrow. Yeah, probably in the morning the sun will come out and the snow will melt and by afternoon I'll be wearing shorts and a tank top. Please?
Long story short, I was in a bad mood when I was driving to work this morning. Then it started sleeting. The evil, sadistic weathermen have been threatening us with snow for Christmas, but it never, ever snows here, so, whatever. But sleet, that's right up our alley. So I park in the sleet and start slogging over to the store to go to work, late, for the most annoying demo ever on the ickiest, coldest day of the year. And everyone is going to be harried and trying to find a turkey and pushing me down and kicking me when I offer them some delicious cheese dip. And, I may have mentioned, it was sleeting. The tiniest possible sleets, with razor-sharp needles sticking out of their little spherical evil hearts. Which contain "Kellye-eye-finder" type radar. Did I mention I was in a bad mood?
Then all the precious little teenagers that work at the store start wandering by and going, "OMG, it's snowing! Go look, it's snowing! Yayy!" and I spent about an hour replying, "Have you ever seen snow? I have. Is it still doing what it was doing at ten, with the little razor-radar balls hitting the ground at Mach 2 and bouncing higher than your head? That's not snow. You're an idiot. Have yourself sterilized and then put out your eyes. Merry Christmas!" Then I fell for it and went outside to look. Razor-lazer-radar sleet. Then I did as just above for another hour, then I went outside to look again. Total lack of any precipitation. Then an actual adult, respected and valued co-worker came over and said, "Go look outside, it's really snowing!" and she was really excited, so after making her say it really was really really snowing actual real snow, about six times, I went to look, and it really was.
Drifty, flurry-y real snow, really snowing down on the ground. And it started to stick. And it started to get colder. And now my whole town is gently slumbering under about three inches of snow and I'm starting to worry that Dennis Quaid fell through a glass roof and we're all going to freeze to death in the library, if the wolves don't get us first. Oh, wait, that's The Day After Tomorrow. Yeah, probably in the morning the sun will come out and the snow will melt and by afternoon I'll be wearing shorts and a tank top. Please?
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Meatball sandwich
So, both our computers bit the big burrito yesterday and have been taken to the Computer Urgent Care center. The only thing they have in common is having been taken to the same Computer Urgent Care center last week, and now neither of them will turn on, and it's very annoying and I'm writing this at the Library. Ick. Not that I don't think it's a wonderful thing for the library to offer internet access, and everyone should use it who doesn't have two perfectly good (till last week) computers at which they can type in their nightgown and no one looks at them funny. Anyway, everything else is okay, except my evil grandma (I have two, one is good and one is evil...okay, mentally ill and unable to control her good-evil axis) had a seisure and went in the hospital and had two more seizures and they're trying to get her put in a home, which is where she has needed to be for the last 20 years. Phil, I'll write you soon, I haven't forgotten about you, just let me get over some of this static. Feel free to write until I do, tho.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Still okay, despite intermittent storms.
We haven't had more flooding, which is a-okay in my books. We had some high wind last night, which screwed a lot of people's roofs and trees, but not ours. My county ended up having 22 inches of rain this past Sunday, which would have been disruptive for me if my parents didn't always have enough food and bottled water on hand to sustain them for several days, if not a week or two.
Almost everyone at the little farm is okay, though they did have the only tree they've had to plant in the last five years twisted out by the winds last night,and they had one baby goat die and one goat break his leg during the "goat evacuation" Sunday afternoon. The broken-legged goat looks to do okay, though he might loose the bottom half of the broken (back) leg, and the baby goat died after being brought to shelter inside the house shortly after the rains began. If I haven't mentioned it before, the farm is open to donations, and if you e-mail me about it, I'll turn you over to the proprietors' computer-savvy son. He'll help them accept any donation (no matter how small or large--$5 buys enough produce or feed to satisfy any of their animals for a day or more) to subsidize their farm of mini and pygmy animals for petting-zoo and hospice uses. They lost their llamas to the heat (as I think I mentioned in the summer) and aren't planning to adopt more for that reason, but have pygmy goats, miniature donkeys, pygmy cattle (you haven't lived till you've stood next to a brama bull that stands shorter than your shoulder at his head) and several head of abandoned pot-bellied pigs they've adopted, all of which they use for petting zoos for schools and therapy for hospice (the farm mommy is a hospice nurse) and nursing homes. They've also got two (soon to be three!) head of Gigantos (I think is how you spell it?) Donkeys, which look just like regular or miniature donkeys (down to the cross-mark on their back) but whose adult withers stand above my head at 5'2". I love it. Everything at this farm is either smaller or larger than you expect (except their Fallow Deer, which are exactly the right size except one of them is snow white), and it is the perfect therapy for a hard day. You just need to pet a donkey, and you don't even know it. They stood in two-foot high water for three days, and their only reaction when it went down was to rejoice in dry ground!
The next saddest thing after having all your personal possessions ruined by rainwater is being dry but knowing which of your fellow townspeople are home from evacuation shelters by seeing who has a fresh pile of sodden carpet and furniture in front of their house, and guessing how high the water went in their homes by looking at the watermarks on the bookcases. Lots of businesses and homes had water inside, and some people didn't get back to their property until today, when the sun came out and it stopped raining upstream long enough for our creeks and rivers to drain downcountry and uncover the roads. About 3,000 people lost power for 1 to 8 hours, and there was plenty of intermittent power loss from Sunday to Tuesday. My dad's a Cable Technician who worked 13 hours on Sunday, first fixing cable, then after the local answering service lost power, answering emergency calls for electric or phone customers or people who needed evacuation.
Lots of cars got ruined in the engine or interior or both, and Highway 59 was closed for quite a while because people's vehicles (even big trucks) were stalling out whilst driving on it, and having to be towed to safety. In fact, a lot of buildings that got water inside them wouldn't have, except for vehicles driving past too fast on their streets and causing wakes that forced the water over their foundations and thresholds, most of which was caused by townspeople driving past as looky-loos or rescue personnel. That sucks, in case you didn't know. The only thing worse than having to have your stalled car towed to safety is having the tow truck swamp a small business driving too fast on the way to you.
The lucky part is that, being a small rural community near the coast, there were plenty of huge tractors and boats of all descriptions to rescue everyone who needed rescuing, so there were really no casualties. There were lots of Weather Channel videos of the rescues playing on www.weather.com yesterday, but my link from the previous post doesn't go to them now, and I don't know enough about internet stuff to link them independently, but rest assured that huge cultivators whose tires have hubs higher than a man's head were used to rescue flood victims and we had plenty of motor- and air-boats, too. And in case I didn't mention it, our entirely Volunteer Fire Department rocks, and saved everyone who needed it.
Because our town is quartered by 59 and 71, and because everyone who got kicked off 59 had to go up 71 to get back on track, and because I live right on 71 (71 Business or "Mechanic Street" in town), I got to watch most of the boats go back and forth down our street from the point where they pick up the refugees and drop them off for distribution to shelters to the point where they put the boats back in, so I got to see a damn-huge lot of boats. I saw at least 3 Texas Wildlife boats (or three of the same one) and a hell of a lot (or several hells of the same lot) of local Volunteer Fire Station boats from all over the county, and plenty of local volunteer boats. And I wasn't on the porch the whole time, as I was also busy filling our tubs with water for flushing toilets and washing, and locating our kerosene lanterns, so I surely missed many boats. Plus I happened to be on the porch when the National Guard arrived. It wasn't as exciting as you might suppose, given that a number of people I personally knew were homeless and waiting to be evacuated.
And the town already had planned a Community Thanksgiving to accommodate several thousand, since the one last year went off so well. We're going. Last year (no disaster) they had something like 3,000 people in our community of 11,000, and this year they were planning for quite a bit more, which is likely good. Several religious and benevolent organizations are also feeding for free anyone who feels thankful tomorrow, and accepting any donations toward their likely larger audience, which is also very likely going to be useful. We've donated to several just driving around town on errands that got put off till today.
Several even smaller towns near here were totally incapacitated by the flood, with almost total city populations being evacuated and no people being re-admitted to their houses until today. I hate that this had to happen the weekend before Thanksgiving. I really do feel for my local fellow-residents and hope they all come to the Community Thanksgiving Dinner. I hope you're all sending kind thoughts to this general area, as the whole thing pretty much got slammed.
In my own news, I didn't get to work for two days starting Sunday, but I was only scheduled for the one, and I got to make it up yesterday on a scheduled day off, which puts me at a personal even keel. I was really incredibly lucky both in my home staying dry and in losing no real days of work. And since I started drinking mass amounts of beer every time it started raining, I was happy to have a couple days off unexpectedly. I was planning for total evacuation, and hoping to pass off my inebriation as anxiety. It completly backfired Monday evening, in case you were wondering. It started raining at 7pm, stopped at around 10pm and left me totally hungover but committed to a demo at noon on Tuesday. It went great. I do my best customer-interface whilst hanging on to my "Basic Decent Composure" with both hands and one foot.
And, despite my aversion to organized religion, I have got to give props to our local churches who turned out to house the 250+ members of the community who found themselves temporarily(?) de-homed. They rocked (as I've mentioned before). I got a chance to thank some of them, and some of the Red Cross workers, at my job today. The Red Cross workers were at the grocery store to pick up general supplies (mostly donated by the grocery company and local organizations and charities) and required pharmaceuticals for our refugees. Amongst the religious, I only got to thank the local Mennonites, because the Methodists and etc. don't wear a uniform. I think next time I do a demo (this weekend) I'll just thank everyone for pitching in, since I'm as likely to hit an aid-worker as I am a victim, and I think everyone should to be thanked for their composure.
In other news, our area is trying to get declared a disaster area, since you can't get flood insurance very easily when you live below sea-level in a flood plain near the coast (or when everything in your house is demolished by huge, unexpected rainstorms totally unprecedented in your area), but FIMA is saying the total loss isn't a high enough dollar amount. So I'm urging all my neighbors to photo and inventory their huge piles of discarded flood-damaged property and submit them to the total. I know if this community pulls together, we can have ourselves declared a Total Disaster Area and get the government to help us recoup. For possibly the last time ever, if this administration gets its way. This is the worst flood this area has sustained in living memory, and it might be a lot longer than that under the Bushies...ya know?
Anyway, Happy Turkey day, think of something you're thankful for. I'm thankful for not getting flooded out of my house or car, for having a loving family and friends that care about me, for having a job, and for moving back to Austin soon...Even though I know at least one of my friends in Austin had 1-3 inches of water in her home day before yesterday. The only upside is that Arizona and New Mexico got a lot of rain, too, and they actually needed it...
Almost everyone at the little farm is okay, though they did have the only tree they've had to plant in the last five years twisted out by the winds last night,and they had one baby goat die and one goat break his leg during the "goat evacuation" Sunday afternoon. The broken-legged goat looks to do okay, though he might loose the bottom half of the broken (back) leg, and the baby goat died after being brought to shelter inside the house shortly after the rains began. If I haven't mentioned it before, the farm is open to donations, and if you e-mail me about it, I'll turn you over to the proprietors' computer-savvy son. He'll help them accept any donation (no matter how small or large--$5 buys enough produce or feed to satisfy any of their animals for a day or more) to subsidize their farm of mini and pygmy animals for petting-zoo and hospice uses. They lost their llamas to the heat (as I think I mentioned in the summer) and aren't planning to adopt more for that reason, but have pygmy goats, miniature donkeys, pygmy cattle (you haven't lived till you've stood next to a brama bull that stands shorter than your shoulder at his head) and several head of abandoned pot-bellied pigs they've adopted, all of which they use for petting zoos for schools and therapy for hospice (the farm mommy is a hospice nurse) and nursing homes. They've also got two (soon to be three!) head of Gigantos (I think is how you spell it?) Donkeys, which look just like regular or miniature donkeys (down to the cross-mark on their back) but whose adult withers stand above my head at 5'2". I love it. Everything at this farm is either smaller or larger than you expect (except their Fallow Deer, which are exactly the right size except one of them is snow white), and it is the perfect therapy for a hard day. You just need to pet a donkey, and you don't even know it. They stood in two-foot high water for three days, and their only reaction when it went down was to rejoice in dry ground!
The next saddest thing after having all your personal possessions ruined by rainwater is being dry but knowing which of your fellow townspeople are home from evacuation shelters by seeing who has a fresh pile of sodden carpet and furniture in front of their house, and guessing how high the water went in their homes by looking at the watermarks on the bookcases. Lots of businesses and homes had water inside, and some people didn't get back to their property until today, when the sun came out and it stopped raining upstream long enough for our creeks and rivers to drain downcountry and uncover the roads. About 3,000 people lost power for 1 to 8 hours, and there was plenty of intermittent power loss from Sunday to Tuesday. My dad's a Cable Technician who worked 13 hours on Sunday, first fixing cable, then after the local answering service lost power, answering emergency calls for electric or phone customers or people who needed evacuation.
Lots of cars got ruined in the engine or interior or both, and Highway 59 was closed for quite a while because people's vehicles (even big trucks) were stalling out whilst driving on it, and having to be towed to safety. In fact, a lot of buildings that got water inside them wouldn't have, except for vehicles driving past too fast on their streets and causing wakes that forced the water over their foundations and thresholds, most of which was caused by townspeople driving past as looky-loos or rescue personnel. That sucks, in case you didn't know. The only thing worse than having to have your stalled car towed to safety is having the tow truck swamp a small business driving too fast on the way to you.
The lucky part is that, being a small rural community near the coast, there were plenty of huge tractors and boats of all descriptions to rescue everyone who needed rescuing, so there were really no casualties. There were lots of Weather Channel videos of the rescues playing on www.weather.com yesterday, but my link from the previous post doesn't go to them now, and I don't know enough about internet stuff to link them independently, but rest assured that huge cultivators whose tires have hubs higher than a man's head were used to rescue flood victims and we had plenty of motor- and air-boats, too. And in case I didn't mention it, our entirely Volunteer Fire Department rocks, and saved everyone who needed it.
Because our town is quartered by 59 and 71, and because everyone who got kicked off 59 had to go up 71 to get back on track, and because I live right on 71 (71 Business or "Mechanic Street" in town), I got to watch most of the boats go back and forth down our street from the point where they pick up the refugees and drop them off for distribution to shelters to the point where they put the boats back in, so I got to see a damn-huge lot of boats. I saw at least 3 Texas Wildlife boats (or three of the same one) and a hell of a lot (or several hells of the same lot) of local Volunteer Fire Station boats from all over the county, and plenty of local volunteer boats. And I wasn't on the porch the whole time, as I was also busy filling our tubs with water for flushing toilets and washing, and locating our kerosene lanterns, so I surely missed many boats. Plus I happened to be on the porch when the National Guard arrived. It wasn't as exciting as you might suppose, given that a number of people I personally knew were homeless and waiting to be evacuated.
And the town already had planned a Community Thanksgiving to accommodate several thousand, since the one last year went off so well. We're going. Last year (no disaster) they had something like 3,000 people in our community of 11,000, and this year they were planning for quite a bit more, which is likely good. Several religious and benevolent organizations are also feeding for free anyone who feels thankful tomorrow, and accepting any donations toward their likely larger audience, which is also very likely going to be useful. We've donated to several just driving around town on errands that got put off till today.
Several even smaller towns near here were totally incapacitated by the flood, with almost total city populations being evacuated and no people being re-admitted to their houses until today. I hate that this had to happen the weekend before Thanksgiving. I really do feel for my local fellow-residents and hope they all come to the Community Thanksgiving Dinner. I hope you're all sending kind thoughts to this general area, as the whole thing pretty much got slammed.
In my own news, I didn't get to work for two days starting Sunday, but I was only scheduled for the one, and I got to make it up yesterday on a scheduled day off, which puts me at a personal even keel. I was really incredibly lucky both in my home staying dry and in losing no real days of work. And since I started drinking mass amounts of beer every time it started raining, I was happy to have a couple days off unexpectedly. I was planning for total evacuation, and hoping to pass off my inebriation as anxiety. It completly backfired Monday evening, in case you were wondering. It started raining at 7pm, stopped at around 10pm and left me totally hungover but committed to a demo at noon on Tuesday. It went great. I do my best customer-interface whilst hanging on to my "Basic Decent Composure" with both hands and one foot.
And, despite my aversion to organized religion, I have got to give props to our local churches who turned out to house the 250+ members of the community who found themselves temporarily(?) de-homed. They rocked (as I've mentioned before). I got a chance to thank some of them, and some of the Red Cross workers, at my job today. The Red Cross workers were at the grocery store to pick up general supplies (mostly donated by the grocery company and local organizations and charities) and required pharmaceuticals for our refugees. Amongst the religious, I only got to thank the local Mennonites, because the Methodists and etc. don't wear a uniform. I think next time I do a demo (this weekend) I'll just thank everyone for pitching in, since I'm as likely to hit an aid-worker as I am a victim, and I think everyone should to be thanked for their composure.
In other news, our area is trying to get declared a disaster area, since you can't get flood insurance very easily when you live below sea-level in a flood plain near the coast (or when everything in your house is demolished by huge, unexpected rainstorms totally unprecedented in your area), but FIMA is saying the total loss isn't a high enough dollar amount. So I'm urging all my neighbors to photo and inventory their huge piles of discarded flood-damaged property and submit them to the total. I know if this community pulls together, we can have ourselves declared a Total Disaster Area and get the government to help us recoup. For possibly the last time ever, if this administration gets its way. This is the worst flood this area has sustained in living memory, and it might be a lot longer than that under the Bushies...ya know?
Anyway, Happy Turkey day, think of something you're thankful for. I'm thankful for not getting flooded out of my house or car, for having a loving family and friends that care about me, for having a job, and for moving back to Austin soon...Even though I know at least one of my friends in Austin had 1-3 inches of water in her home day before yesterday. The only upside is that Arizona and New Mexico got a lot of rain, too, and they actually needed it...
Monday, November 22, 2004
Flood update...
We're still okay here. Every time the news runs someone else of our family or friends calls to see if we're okay or evacuated or what. It's funny, when the phone rings there's a very good chance it will be someone saying, "I saw El Campo on the news! Are you drowned?" It ended up raining about 18 inches yesterday, or as they said charmingly on The Weather Channel, "About an inch an hour." For what it's worth, you can go here to watch some videos of the flooding. When I was a kid we lived in the part of town the videos mostly show, and there's an older lady in the "Residents forced to flee" report who was our next-door-but-one neighbor back then. It hasn't ever rained this bad in living memory around here. We've had floods before, but this is ridiculous. There were a couple of articles about the whole deal in the Houston Chronicle yesterday and today, but you have to have a subsription to look at their archives, so I guess the cheap bastards won't be getting any additional hits from me.
I wish I'd taken pictures. They closed highway 59 because it was so far underwater cars kept stalling out and having to be towed to safety. Three different churches (including the local Mennonite community, who have enough sense to live on what passes for high ground around here) are sheltering more than 250 people until the water goes down enough for them to get back to their homes, and god knows how many more people are staying with family or friends.
We went out to the mini farm today to try to help, but the water hadn't drained off enough to start cleanup and they'd already assessed what damage they could and made sure all the animals were accounted for, so we made coffee and commisserated. Flooding sucks. In case you didn't know. But, it could have been so much worse. Hell, it still could. Send dry thoughts.
I wish I'd taken pictures. They closed highway 59 because it was so far underwater cars kept stalling out and having to be towed to safety. Three different churches (including the local Mennonite community, who have enough sense to live on what passes for high ground around here) are sheltering more than 250 people until the water goes down enough for them to get back to their homes, and god knows how many more people are staying with family or friends.
We went out to the mini farm today to try to help, but the water hadn't drained off enough to start cleanup and they'd already assessed what damage they could and made sure all the animals were accounted for, so we made coffee and commisserated. Flooding sucks. In case you didn't know. But, it could have been so much worse. Hell, it still could. Send dry thoughts.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Yayyy! Boats!!!
So when I woke up this morning at 9, it had rained 16 inches since I went to bed. And I'm not going to work today, because most of town is underwater and my boss figures, probably correctly, that anyone who makes it into the grocery store might be less than concerned about being handed an attractive two-oz. food sample. And we're currently in no danger of being flooded because our house is on relitively high ground and is on two-foot pilings anyway. And it isn't really going to stop raining for at least 36 more hours. So the upside is, that if the water gets up to the front door, beefy firemen in boats will come save me. The other upside is that I get to stay at home all day, knitting and watching the Weather Channel. The downside is that the only book in the house I haven't read is one I snatched off the shelf at the library the other day while there with the kiddo, and it turns out it's a Reconstruction-era wholesome Christian romance novel that takes place in Montana. So it looks like I'm re-reading "Me Talk Pretty One Day" again. Please bear with me if I call you and perform an entire essay. David Sedaris is just so fucking funny.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
The saddest thing that has happened to me in days.
So, the light in the breakroom where I work is on a motion sensor that turns the light off when the room is empty and turns it back on when someone walks in. So I go in there today to eat lunch and I'm sitting on the couch trying to ignore the other six people in there, all eating and vapidly watching Fear Factor. You know, since H.R. 666 went through, requiring that there be an episode of Fear Factor playing on at least one channel in every market at any given time, so that I am always in danger of seeing some dude eat an elephant cock while jumping out of a helicopter with his head in a box of rats. On fire. Or whatever. God, I hate that show.
Anyway, so everyone's watching it and drooling onto their sippy cups and I'm hunched over my food like a guy doing 15-25 upstate for pedophilia, trying to will myself deaf and blind, when suddenly the lights go out. There's 7 people in the room, and the stultifying effects of that damn show convinced the motion detector that the room was empty. Then we all kind of looked back and forth at each other, and the lights came back on, and some chick changed the channel.
Anyway, so everyone's watching it and drooling onto their sippy cups and I'm hunched over my food like a guy doing 15-25 upstate for pedophilia, trying to will myself deaf and blind, when suddenly the lights go out. There's 7 people in the room, and the stultifying effects of that damn show convinced the motion detector that the room was empty. Then we all kind of looked back and forth at each other, and the lights came back on, and some chick changed the channel.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Total Bemusement Now Achieved
I wonder what I should do next. Last night as I drifted off to sleep I had this great idea for (another)ancilliary blog; title, format, skin, content, everything. I remember having the idea and thinking what a phenomenal lot of cool funness it would be, and now I can't remember any of the specifics. Oh, well. Here are some pictures of my cat wearing a tutu:
If you knew her, you'd understand why I've been locking my bedroom door, nights, since I took these. I made the tutu for the munchkin I sit on, but she won't wear it, so I'm reduced to putting it on the cat to satisfy my crafty needs. Maybe I'll send it to Bella, that might be cool. Everybody likes to see a pink pittbull in a tutu.
Still having a hard time with this whole, "Apparently a majority of Americans think that having Duck-face remain our religio-dynastic monarch is a really good idea" thing. I'm thinking of turning to pharmaceuticals to dull my pain, except that would make me a terrorist or something, so I guess I'll just stick to beer. I've been working a lot and haven't really had the time to get it up to blog, but I'll be better soon, I promise. Maybe in the next few days I'll even be able to wind myself up to a huge juggernaut of a linked-up photo-intensive post about all the cool stuff I've been neglecting to mention to you, my adoring public. I could never have done all this without you!
If you knew her, you'd understand why I've been locking my bedroom door, nights, since I took these. I made the tutu for the munchkin I sit on, but she won't wear it, so I'm reduced to putting it on the cat to satisfy my crafty needs. Maybe I'll send it to Bella, that might be cool. Everybody likes to see a pink pittbull in a tutu.
Still having a hard time with this whole, "Apparently a majority of Americans think that having Duck-face remain our religio-dynastic monarch is a really good idea" thing. I'm thinking of turning to pharmaceuticals to dull my pain, except that would make me a terrorist or something, so I guess I'll just stick to beer. I've been working a lot and haven't really had the time to get it up to blog, but I'll be better soon, I promise. Maybe in the next few days I'll even be able to wind myself up to a huge juggernaut of a linked-up photo-intensive post about all the cool stuff I've been neglecting to mention to you, my adoring public. I could never have done all this without you!
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